Joyfully & overwhelming

I am filled with joy but yet I am still overwhelmed,

Someone question why and ask,

But take a seat and I will tell you why,

Back in 2008 when I started my YouTube channel it wasn't like I had intentions of becoming something so popular but innocence I kind of wanted to,

Only because I had a fear that I would be forgotten today that I was dead,

But I think almost anybody has that fear, but now I know with or without my fans are my followers I would still not be forgotten by those that truly loved me,

I once thought to myself I must be the only person that's going to the struggles that I've been going through,

And then I surely realize wants all the emails started coming in and I started reading all of the amazing stories,

I've come to realize that I wasn't the one that somebody needs to make a difference I was one making a difference in other peoples lives without even trying, which of course made me so happy and filled me with so much Joy, however the sad part of being a YouTube or is that I'm speaking to a camera and the only time I ever get to seeing if you guys design snap chat

And I wish I could meet you all, and in time I think that will come when I get to do a meet and greet and possibly design make up classes one day,

So you all could come and I could sit and talk with you all,

Regardless if you're a hater I love her or someone that just thinks I'm awesome, because I think you're awesome too

What you may not realize is that I may have brought enjoy and happiness and entertainment to your life, but you have also done the same for me

The world and I come from was people that thought that I would never make it anywhere people that thought that I was going to be nothing people that hated me just because they could, either because they were jealous because they didn't have the strength to be who they wanted to be so they put me down,

And because of you guys you have showed all of my haters and those that believe that I would never be anything,

That I am truly an inspiration and an amazing person to so many others,

And with that I thank you so much

I see all of your guys emails and I try my best to reply and sometimes it's really hard to I mean seriously how are you supposed to give somebody a hug to the Internet there's so many words in the world that you could say but to me words mean nothing if I can't Actually shake your hand or physically hug you and tell you how much I really care

I still have this fear that I'm going to wake up one day and all of you're going to be gone like it was some fabulous dream

Here are my blogs I usually pour out all of my feelings and the stuff that I think about,

And I really hope that I'm doing the very best that I can,

I'm just going to continue being mean making my videos the way that I like to make videos and be as honest with you guys as possible because you guys deserve to know what a real makeup friend should be and how it should be worn regardless if it's something that it wasn't designed for because make up as an art just like painting the house,

And as far as hate mail just remember to my haters out there I still love you you're human being just like me we both believe the same we make feel about things in different ways

But just know when you're in a bad spot and nobody else is willing to stand with you I will stand with you regardless of what you've done to me and what you've said because we all deserve to have someone there,

I love you all thank you for liking the subscriber