Awakening

It's unusual for me to feel the way that I have been lately, I noticed that several years ago it was hard for somebody like me to ever have a relationship but I've noticed now that it's completely different there's come a time in my life where I have not had one but I've had multiple people wanting my attention and wanting to talk to me wanting to get to know me and wanting me to be there girlfriend her however you may call it, but a few years ago I would've done anything to have this attention by now I would've probably been in a relationship with one of them but I find myself in a situation where I am not wanting a relationship is it because I'm so tired of the mental abuse in the game playing in the lying cheating in the use of relationships that I just don't care anymore, or is it because I'm just happy being myself and just wanting to do what I want to do that I don't care to have any

body else in my life but my family and friends I have yet to figure that out I just find it crazy Innoway, that now I have for five people knocking on my door and I'm not even bothering to answer it or even let one of them in to date me or call me their girlfriend or however you may call it I guess I just don't have time for that kind of stuff anymore Innoway I will limit I'm worn out and tired and emotionally distraught I just don't have the energy to do a relationship anymore maybe one day something will happen something I'll change maybe somebody will come along that will actually make a difference but until then I just don't have time for it it's that awakening pivotal moment that I've had that I thought that I would never have that I ever seen every other person had it before me they had multiple people that wanted to be with them but they never gave them the time of day because they enjoy the fact that people wanted them but they never gave anything back and I always wanted that but I didn't realize how tormenting it was to see that your phones been blowing up every single day and people are doing whatever they can desperately to be with you and yet you give them no hope for no glimmer of the satisfaction of ever having a romantic relationship with you it's kind of sad to be honest usually I would be more enticed to begin a relationship with a person as long as they're nice to me but recently my standards are so high that it would make it near to impossible for anybody to have any kind of romantic relationship with me but until that awakening moment that I realized that somebody is meant for me I'll just have to sit and wait because that's the best thing to do since most people don't wait anyways they usually just run into it not even thinking with their eyes closed